So I just got two seperate emails about socialization from homeschool groups I’m in. It’s the biggest thing brought up about homeschooling: what about socialization?
Socialize:
1. To place under government or group ownership or control.
2. To make fit for companionship with others; make sociable.
3. To convert or adapt to the needs of society.
And while school certainly does place children under government control and try to convert them to the needs of society, what most people mean is socializing. The implication always being that if your kids aren’t in school they’ll never get to make friends, see other children or learn the accepted norms of society.
What about socialization? (from another angle)
Two women meet at a playground, where their children are swinging and playing ball. The women are sitting on a bench watching. Eventually, they begin to talk.
W1: Hi. My name is Maggie. My kids are the three in red shirts –helps me keep track of them.
W2: (Smiles) I’m Terri. Mine are in the pink and yellow shirts. Do you come here a lot?
W1: Usually two or three times a week, after we go to the library.
W2: Wow. Where do you find the time?
W1: We home school, so we do it during the day most of the time.
W2: Some of my neighbours home school, but I send my kids to public school.
W1: How do you do it?
W2: It’s not easy. I go to all the PTO meetings and work with the kids every day after school and stay real involved.
W1: But what about socialization? Aren’t you worried about them being cooped up all day with kids their own ages, never getting the opportunity for natural relationships?
W2: Well, yes. But I work hard to balance that. They have some friends who’re home schooled, and we visit their grandparents almost every month.
W1: Sounds like you’re a very dedicated mom. But don’t you worry about all the opportunities they’re missing out on? I mean they’re so isolated from real life — how will they know what the world is like — what people do to make a living — how to get along with all different kinds of people?
W2: Oh, we discussed that at PTO, and we started a fund to bring real people into the classrooms. Last month, we had a policeman and a doctor come in to talk to every class. And next month, we’re having a woman from Japan and a man from Kenya come to speak.
W1: Oh, we met a man from Japan in the grocery store the other week, and he got to talking about his childhood in Tokyo. My kids were absolutely fascinated. We invited him to dinner and got to meet his wife and their three children.
W2: That’s nice. Hmm. Maybe we should plan some Japanese food for the lunchroom on Multicultural Day.
W1: Maybe your Japanese guest could eat with the children.
W2: Oh, no. She’s on a very tight schedule. She has two other schools to visit that day. It’s a system-wide thing we’re doing.
W1: Oh, I’m sorry. Well, maybe you’ll meet someone interesting in the grocery store sometime and you’ll end up having them over for dinner.
W2: I don’t think so. I never talk to people in the store — certainly not people who might not even speak my language. What if that Japanese man hadn’t spoken English?
W1: To tell you the truth, I never had time to think about it. Before I even saw him, my six-year-old had asked him what he was going to do with all the oranges he was buying.
W2: Your child talks to strangers?
W1: I was right there with him. He knows that as long as he’s with me, he can talk to anyone he wishes.
W2: But you’re developing dangerous habits in him. My children never talk to strangers.
W1: Not even when they’re with you?
W2: They’re never with me, except at home after school. So you see why it’s so important for them to understand that talking to strangers is a big no-no.
W1: Yes, I do. But if they were with you, they could get to meet interesting people and still be safe. They’d get a taste of the real world, in real settings. They’d also get a real feel for how to tell when a
situation is dangerous or suspicious.
W2: They’ll get that in the third and fifth grades in their health courses.
W1: Well, I can tell you’re a very caring mom. Let me give you my number–i you ever want to talk, give me call. It was good to meet you.


5 responses so far ↓
1 mb // Apr 23, 2007 at 12:51 pm
This is so great.
Ahhh. Wow. I have to share this laugh my husband and I had last night with a friend…
We put Mia in the local Waldorf (dst. mrigold) thinking “this is it!!!” this will be the place we can feel safe and comfortable and feel like she is being schooled the way we want her raised. Duh. Now reading it I can see how dumb it sll sounds, but we wanted the beauty, the peace, the rhythm….and we know Mia wants the friends and fun. Because we are sorta hermits, we thought it was the right choice….
Well, it wasn’t. I think the school is great for some. but now us. We can’t become a “waldorf dogma’ which you need to if you want your child and your family to ‘fit in’ that type of box. We are waaaaay to free of spirits….creative and wild. Anyway, so i am trying to figure out what to do…pulling her out now or just keeping her there for 5 weeks…meditating on what is better….
So we were all drinking wine talking about it and I was like, the girls would learn more from coming to the market with me 3 times a week. Bill laughs and says, ‘we took our daughter out of walkdorf and enrolled them in the School Of Sunflower. My friend took it a step father. “why not just drop them off at the market for a few hours a week. let them wander around…” Bashas does have a daycare….
anyway…i so need to read this, feel it…because i am so not a schooler. and it feels really good to realize that.
peace
mb
2 Karen // Apr 23, 2007 at 10:45 pm
No matter how great a school is supposed to be, if it doesn’t fit it just doesn’t fit. One of the joys of homeschooling is that you can be as creative and wild as you want to be. Or maybe you’ll find a school with a better fit if that’s what you want.
As for the School of Sunflower, it’s a lot more possible than you might think. What is this? Where is it from? What can you make with it? How much does is cost? When does it grow? My kids like to pick fruit and weigh it. Sometimes I tell them they can each pick X number of apples; other times we tell them to pick X weight. We talk about organic, fair trade, local produce, etc and what it means. This food makes muscles, this helps your immune system be healthy, this one keeps your blood strong. I strongly believe that you can teach children using anything. Folktales about golden apples, finding where things grown on a world map, mathematics (fractions, measuring, etc) of recipes and cooking. Whether it’s grocery stores, a fascination with dinosaurs or a love of dancing, you can tech almost anything.
Thinking of you and Chris, I wrote a long rambling post about lesson planning . . .
(haven’t seen you in forever, hope to see you soon)
Karen
3 Jason Holm // May 7, 2007 at 8:25 pm
Hey there! I’ve recently started a comic strip about homeschooling called “Schools Are For Fish”.
I saw you had posted the first comic on your site, so I thought I’d let you know the colored version is at:
http://www.inflatablestudios.com/
I set up a site for this and many future comics to come. Hope you enjoy them!
-Jason Holm
4 Karen // May 7, 2007 at 10:52 pm
I loved it when I saw. Very cool that you draw it. Thanks for the information - I’ll check out the site.
5 Z // Jun 12, 2009 at 4:46 am
hehe, I love the convo between the two mamas…
I got linked by the fishy cartoon on google :-)…
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